Leader of the berserker task force stops by to have a chat
Me, Former Berserker (FB): Good morning. I’m sorry about the timing, it was just the only way our schedules lined up.
Randall Tandy: More my fault than yours, buddy.
FB: I guess it is. You have a pretty hectic schedule, actually. I was surprised to learn that. The berserker task force may serve an important function, but I wouldn’t have imagined you were very busy most days.
Randall Tandy: Your first guess was right. We’re not usually busy. Most of my free time is spent doing talks, lectures, and interviews about our work.
FB: You’ve had a bit more than fifteen minutes.
Randall Tandy :I won’t lie, it’s been a hell of a journey. Nothing I’m doing is really special, it’s all a matter of knowing how zombies work.
FB: Most of the early pioneers in the anti-zombie movement were incompetent at best; they didn’t know how to handle a rogue berserker.
Randall Tandy: No, they didn’t. We have much better techniques to handle them now. And I have to contest that, I’m not anti-zombie.
FB: Most critics of the task force would disagree, and I’m not sure I see your point of view as clearly here as I do theirs.
Randall Tandy: I have nothing against zombies if they can co-exist with all the other people in this world. Some of them can’t do that, and those I do have a problem with.
Randall Tandy: Berserkers are zombies who’ve given up on their humanity. The thing that we didn’t realize early on was that the process is reversible. So many bureaucrats and soldiers gave up on the victims of this disease because they thought they couldn’t be saved- or that it was too expensive.
FB: How would you handle a berserk zombie? Walk me through the process.
Randall Tandy: The most important thing to get right is containment. Berserkers will break through any barrier you put in front of them, or hurt themselves trying. Something like sedation is more effective because it minimizes harm to everyone, but not all drugs will work on berserkers. If containment fails, our primary concern is evacuating the area. A successful evacuation can leave us with enough room to let the rage play out. If a berserker acts without anyone to injure, there’s no reason to do anything about it. Harmless property damage is much better than carnage.
FB: That’s surprisingly enlightened of you. What about if evacuation fails?
Randall Tandy: Then it fails, and we move from there.
FB: Thanks for giving us some insight into your organization, Mr. Tandy. I think it should help some of my readers out.”
Randall Tandy: Thank you for letting me.